it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
