Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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