how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
