So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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