mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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