Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
