She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
