Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
