too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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