but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
