She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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