just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
