Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
