I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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