My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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