ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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