Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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