I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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