never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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