It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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