Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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