i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
