Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
