I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
