Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
