Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
