The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
