It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
