You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
