If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
