how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
