I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
