she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
