You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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