Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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