every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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