Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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