he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
