I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
