i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
