btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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