some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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