I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
