omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
