Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
