Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
