White coat. Heels.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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