is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
