i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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