I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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