I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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