I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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