the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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