We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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